Here I Am

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So, there are basically five people I know who read this blog (hi, mom!), but for those five people, here I am.  I don’t write that as a cut to myself, but more to say that I am finally at a point in my life where I can have this little space of the internet and revisit it from time to time; but I am not, under any circumstances, under the impression that this corner of my life, this piece of my life, and how successful it is or is not defines me as a person.

There have been some changes in my life since I last wrote.  I left a job that made me incredibly, terribly unhappy; and I have now found myself at a new company, doing something I love, with people I enjoy, and that has made a huge difference.  I used to wake up essentially dreading the day.  Would I disappoint someone?  Would I disappoint myself?  Would I ever be able to feel like what I am doing matters?

These questions plagued me.  They had a remarkable impact on the way every day would go for me, on how I felt when I woke up in the morning.  And really, the only thing that I could think to do on a daily basis, on a nightly basis, on a minute-to-minute basis, was turn toward my faith and realize that whatever I was going through, God was trying to teach me something.  And so I prayed over and over and over again, and slowly but surely I felt things shift.  And then I saw things shift.  And just as quickly as things went bad, they turned around for me.

Thus, being so busy with my new endeavor, this has left little to no time for blogging.  I still am relatively active on Twitter since that is where I get a good amount of day-to-day design inspiration.  But the blog has seemingly gone by the wayside.  There was a time when this would happen, and I would suddenly get the blogging itch again, and I would feel the need for a whole new blog, a whole new theme, a whole new adventure.  But this one is different.  I feel like I will continue to update when I am inspired, or when I have something to say, or when time allows.  But in the meantime, the pressure is off.

I want to surround myself with my life, with my happiness.  This truly content feeling is new to me considering how the last six or seven months have gone.  And so, if I see something that compels me to write, or if I have some time to check in, etc., I will do so.  I will think of this space as more of a journal that I keep for myself than for anyone else.  I just have to think of it this way.

So, here I am, latching onto life again and beginning a new journey.  Come along.

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